DrSchwa

With a Hat.

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Literary String Cheese Ep1 by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Literary String Cheese Ep1

Literary String Cheese: A Critical Drivel Theory I was in the shower when I began to craft the beginnings of a plan to rid myself of boredom this summer. Someone must have been learning how the household faucets operate, because I was quickly learning about the differences between freezing hot and scorching cold. Pro tip for the kiddies, rig all household appliances involving water with flamethrowers and liquid nitrogen for best showering experience. That way the possible perpetrators get the best of both worlds, and you get to have a little consistency. Episode 1: The Curse of Distract--- I have an idea to write about writing. I love read

Oh Succulent Poetry by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Oh Succulent Poetry

Poetry comes in all shapes and good flavours, Truly it is something that we should all savour. Though it seems poetry is the catch of the day, Many still believe it will lead them astray. There are many kinds of poetry, that part is true, Limericks, free verse, ballads and haiku. All these and more, it depends on one's mood, Sonnets, couplets, and rants, the best food. These poems can be devoured in so many places, Have all sorts of meanings and sport many faces. It does not matter who, nor the place or the time, There are no strict guidelines, no need to rhyme. So many smells and tastes can be present, A nourishing forest, or a

Prelude... by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Prelude...

Prelude to the Manifesto of String Cheese I don't know what a "Manifesto" is. I have heard the word many times and would probably know one if I saw it, but I have no clue how to write one. My first course of action was to look at a dictionary definition and learn the meanings of the word in order to construct a clear picture in my head. After finding a suitable definition, the meaning of "Manifesto" proved to be useless to me. More or less. The general meaning, defined by the all-powerful internet (I don't usually carry a dictionary on my person, though perhaps I should consider doing so), is "a public declaration of intentions, opinions, ob

We Will Become Silhouettes by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

We Will Become Silhouettes

We Will Become Silhouettes I stand in the centre of a single-room structure made of musty, old cedar. To my left are clusters of tables and chairs balanced precariously on uneven wooden floorboards with hundreds of people seated at them. To my right, a huge feast is laid out on top of tables covered with thick, white tablecloths. An enormous centrepiece sits on the table in the middle of the food section sporting cherries, strawberries, apples, raspberries and pomegranates. I walk around the tables, eyeing each dish, wondering what I should try first. As I complete the circle around the feast I spot a group of people standing near the doo

Brains - Parody of 'Pain' by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Brains - Parody of 'Pain'

Brains with some blood Brains can't get enough Brains, squishy or tough 'Cause I'd rather eat brains or nothing at all. You're bent on eating chums You're not the only one I'll take you by the head And I'll devour your brain either alive or dead. To get brains I often lurk Biting people usually works If not, I've got a plan When the lights go out you will understand Brains with some blood Brains can't get enough Brains, squishy or tough 'Cause I'd rather eat brains or nothing at all. Brains are a delicacy They're better than flesh you'll see Trust me, I've got a plan When the lights go out you will understand Brains wit

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Literary String Cheese Ep1 by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Literary String Cheese Ep1

Oh Succulent Poetry by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Oh Succulent Poetry

Prelude... by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Prelude...

We Will Become Silhouettes by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

We Will Become Silhouettes

Brains - Parody of 'Pain' by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Brains - Parody of 'Pain'

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Coward of a Man by WordOfChen, literature

Literature

Coward of a Man

Coward of a Man: You stand there whinin', cryin' crocodile tears and playin' victim. Ye eyes demand pity, but yer lips are spewin' nothin' but lies. Flowery speeches o' harmony and unification; It's bollocks and snake-oil I say! I ask ye, as someone who aspires t' be a leader: What exactly are ye worth? Who exactly are ya, and what in th' bloody hell makes you worth followin'? Now I've watched ye fer a long time, and I've known ye fer even longer - Ye always stand there beggin', askin' us fer help, askin' fer a handout; But yer hands are clean, uncalloused, and completely free from sweat or toil. Instead, ye make us promises; promi

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Prelude... by DrSchwa, literature

Literature

Prelude...

DrSchwa

About DrSchwa

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Artist // Student // Literature

May 30
Canada
Deviant for 14 years
She / Her

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My Bio

I'm a human who pretends to be a writer, artist, video editor and a generally civilized individual. I am in my 6th year of university (yeah I'll be there forever...don't even worry about it) studying "stuff that has happened" (history) and "advanced BS" (English). I am allergic to spring, cats and sometimes pecans. I can no longer say that I haven't puked in over ten years, but I can still say I'm a master of avoiding creepers on Calgary transit. I am an accomplished procrastinator and have problems completing something I've sta--

WMRR Project Blog: wmrrproject.blogspot.com/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/OnyxArdes…
Other YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/EversorFa…
EGAWT (Ever Growing Amateur Writing Tips): drschwa.webs.com/theegawt.htm

Current Residence: Calgary
Favourite genre of music: Symphonic Metal
Personal Quote: "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything"

Favourite Movies

Lord of the Rings, Batman 1966, Xmen, The Mask of Zorro, Emperor's New Groove, Mulan, Megamind

Favourite TV Shows

Supernatural, Sonic SatAM, Firefly, House, Sherlock (BBC)

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Nightwish (Tuomas!), Within Temptation, Arrogant Worms, Linkin Park, Kamelot

Favourite Books

Too many.

Favourite Writers

Scott Lynch, Alexandre Dumas, Eden Robinson, David Almond, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Aritha van Herk

Favourite Games

Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Oblivion, Assassin's Creed Series, Fire Emblem Series

Tools of the Trade

Tea and a good track of music...but mostly tea.

Other Interests

reading, writing, drawing, gaming, dodgeball, badminton, hiking, rock climbing, eating, sleeping, skiing

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DrSchwa

May 6, 2012

The Universe Conspires Against Me

0 min read

Every year. EVERY year for some asinine reason I either forget or can't participate in free comic book day again. I forgot to go again today. I slept in because I was so tired, started playing some video games and then I looked over at my comic book and it hit me. Picture me screaming clichéd Hollywood "NOOOOOOOO" as I fall to my knees and crumple into a ball on the ground and roll around like a wounded animal. Yes, wounded animals roll around. On the ground. Screaming NOOOOOOO.

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DrSchwa

Dec 26, 2011

Christmas Again

0 min read

I must say it didn't feel like Christmas to me. Don't get me wrong, my day was wonderful, and relaxing. There's still something deeply unsettling, like the world's fraying a little at the edges. I just don't understand Christmas. I think I knew at one point, but I'm not sure anymore. I love to buy gifts for everyone and I got so see some special moments and had a good time with friends and family, but I don't know why we need a holiday to do it, and I don't know why we have to spend our life savings on stuff we really don't need. That said, I'd be lying if I said presents and food and cookies and decorating trees and spending a whole day wit

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DrSchwa

Nov 21, 2011

Bury Me on the Battlefield

0 min read

Been a long time since I wrote anything here and honestly it's probably a bad time to do it. I have a 5000 word essay due tomorrow, which I barely have a thesis for. I've cranked out two other papers in this week, lost tons of sleep, gone a little crazy and fought of my cravings to play Skyrim. This is the last ditch effort to save my mark in this class, and honestly I don't think I'm going to come out of the course with anything better than a C. I am tempted to just drop the course and save myself the trouble, but I don't give up easy. If I'm going down, it's probably ganna be with the most shitacular essay ever created by mankind. At any ra